It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
