Ambien. No doubt about it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
this is an emotional support booty call
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
