She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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