I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
