I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Randomize
