i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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