I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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