I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
