Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
