Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I touched a dick in church today
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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