You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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