i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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