it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize