and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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