Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
