LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
