I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
