please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
