Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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