are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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