Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
