discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
