If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
