She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
PANTIES FOUND
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