I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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