weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
