Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
why is half of my head shaved?
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