I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
