she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
