zippers are such a cool invention
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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