It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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