i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
