If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
