Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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