i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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