He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
