tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
