don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
