is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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