Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
