You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
