He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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