i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We're using joints as your birthday candles
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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