My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
