Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm so fucking centered right now
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
