It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
