yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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