You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
