We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
