No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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