Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
