Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
