I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
