I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
